How I Discovered I Wasn't Straight

Published on May 6, 2018
I'd have hypothetical crushes on girls whenever my church would tell me I shouldn't.
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  • I still remember my lightbulb crush, it was In seventh grade and her name was Shelby


  • At least you know your sexualityπŸ‘ im always like what the heck am i!!?! Sometimes i think im straight n sometimes im like- hey! Maybe im not πŸ˜…πŸ™„ this is so confusing

  • What about the simple bisexual

  • She's on a no ther le vel

  • Chantelle MARRY ME πŸ’πŸ’ŽπŸ‘‘

  • i have that same blue book on her left! such a good one, it's called 'the lovely bones'

  • I think ur bi cuz u like boys and girls

  • My cousin just got her first boyfriend at 24 (less than a month ago) and her whole life she's never had any feelings for anyone! I don't want to tell her what her sexuality is or force her to be something, but I want to know she's not totally heterosexual?? I feel like she could be demisexual or asexual, and I just want her to tell me she's not straight some day. I've been the gay cousin for too long and it's getting boring πŸ˜‚ I might be like this too because I'm jealous AS FUCK and my girlfriends would tell me "your cousin is cute!" and it made me fearful that she could be gay, hahaha

  • Bi five

  • I'm a Christian and I think that is is ridiculous that other Christians discriminate

  • I kinda feel like I'm both pansexual and bisexual. I'm kinda leaning towards pan because there's this girl, but she's transgender, so she's a guy. Bisexual is only specifically liking girls and boys while pansexual is liking anyone, even if they're straight, transgender, hetero, etc. So, i don't really know. I'm probably leaning towards pan, but I already came out and said I was bi. help please

  • Wait she’s not straight??? πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆβ€οΈπŸ‘‘πŸŒšπŸΈβ˜•οΈ

  • I recently found out that my friend Kyle and he came out in band class and everyone was happy that he did


  • I am only 12 years old, my entire family is Christian. I just recently discovered that I am bi. I have not told anyone yet. I want to, I just don't know how. I am scared that my parents will act out and give me a long lecture or some crap like that. Chantel's story almost perfectly fits mine... Any advice?

  • I loved Jens gaydar moment

  • I had a light bulb crush her name was Rachel but I also liked boys

  • I've been watching ladylike for almost year and i never knew this???

  • I just wanted to say that i have not even started the video but ill be happy and im sure the other people who have hearts in the coments will be too and i hope your happy too edit: I Think that its nota sin if you date a girl :)

  • I like both

  • My lightbulb crush is a senior. I’m a freshman. Life is great

  • Just a couple of points: 1.) Ladies...(and gents, as well), if you want to sound more credible while you speak in a public sphere, try to work on toning down this crazy-popular up-speak that is so prevalent these days. if you don't know what that is, i am sorry to point it out to you here because, after you realize it, that's all you hear in these videos by LadyLike (it's everywhere). Up-speak is when you end all of your sentences in an upward tone whether it's a question or not. This makes all your statements sound like you aren't sure about it either or that you question yourself or your own words. You can see why it would make you less than a powerful speaker because it makes you come off as unsure or insecure about your own thoughts. I think this was popularized by one of the Kardashians (says a lot). Anyway, as a speaking/speech teacher, it's something I try to touch on during classes. 2.) Saying you're on a spectrum, although perhaps accurate, kinda rubs me the wrong way only because the term "Spectrum" is used technically and clinically in diagnosing mental disorders and I don't think those in the LGBTQ should be connected even through implication that they are experiencing some kind of mental/psychological issue. Having said that, I can't say what is a better term to use but this is just my take on it upon hearing the word "spectrum" used in this video. Lasty, thank you Chantie, for opening up (I know it's not easy) to talk about such deeply personal things. But I guarantee you that it will help someone out there who is also going through similar struggles and, for that, you are doing amazing work both in your personal life and at Buzzfeed.

  • Wow i had a two day crush to i thought it was a false alarm. Especially since after getting to know him I no longer thought of him like that to much.

  • i classify as bi and demisexual so... how i found out: i had always thought i was straight, but then i realized i had a crush on my best female friend. i told her and came out to her and let’s just say im still single and im no longer friends with her. but i barely have crushes on people, im 13 and have had crushes on about 5 people in my life... only thing is i literally can’t get over people, and when i do i can easily relapse into those feelings again. i still like the same guy (it’s a dude now) that I’ve liked for around a year. Also: my parents still think im straight. Oops I’ll come out to them later. Like during my wedding some day πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ

  • I feel like being bi is fine because you would be willing to have kids with an actual guy. But being totally gay I feel like you still need to keep the whole population and a lot of people now are gay (as i experience in school) Also in school I found out 4 of my long time friends are bi which surprised me. I kinda guessed at one of them being bi but not all of them

  • I realized I was bi when I met my current best friend. I may or not have a crush on her. She is also bi and we came out to each other at the same time

  • This is so funny because my gaydar is so spot on with women. I was watching a lot of lady like videos. Then i was like this girl is giving off a lot of gay vibes. I'm betting she's gay. Then i by accident hit this video under a different video and here it is. I was right! I love this video it's so cute. I'm also queer so i can totally relate besides i realized it when i was like 12. I support you. πŸ˜πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ


  • So you are zigzag??

  • 10:35 What I say to myself every time I think about my crush

  • What did ur parents think?

  • I still support you

  • Well I'm still figuring out about my sexuality and I'm almost 30. It's not easy because I live in southeast asia, I can't tell you where because this country is homophobic and I will get a trouble. my first classmate crush is a girl when I was in 2nd grade. Have a crush on another girl in 3rd, 4th, 5th grade. 6th grade is the first time I like a boy. And after that mostly boys. And when I'm in college I notice a girl again after a long time but I keep thinking that I'm stright because of my country society. Until recently I finally accept it, I'm probably bisexual. I wish I live in western countries where being LGBT is more acceptable. I can't talk about it to anybody in my country or they're will think I'm gross and talk about religion stuff. I just keep it to myself.

  • I'm having so many thoughts now. So much of this sounds a lot like me. I'm 30 years old, have never really dated and can count the male crushes i've had on one hand. But those hypothetical thoughts she said she had....yeah. Maybe i'm not straight. lol

  • Apparently I'm Demisexual...................certainly didn't know that before woohoo

  • I love how jen was in a blanket with coffee or smth?πŸ˜‚

  • How i discovered i wasnt straight(bi): I had that butterfly feeling cause a girl was doing something that made her look cute and then developed a crush on her

  • 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈. Okay you get it

  • Ayyyyyyy, I'm also demisexual :3

  • I actually have a really similar experience! I’m honestly still confused though because I’ve had the same boyfriend for years and I didn’t discover my feelings until after we started dating and it’s not like I can date a girl to confirm or deny my feelings lol

  • soooooo my coming out story! ever sense i was little i always thought hmm i wonder what it was like being gay buttt not really much happened. at the beginning of year 8 i kinda cought feelings for my friend which also liked me but i didint know she was pan a few month later a while after me and my boyfriend broke up i realised i was bi it just clicked and i came out to my 3 best friends and they were understanding but when i came out to my parents they didint except the fact that im queer. they said things like its just a faze and im attention seeking. i was really upset. after a long time my friend convinced me to come out to a boy that i am really close to and i also liked him at the time he was soooo understanding and im so happy about that. at the time i was still questioning weather im queer or not and i was really confused and upset by this and then i cought a huge crush on a close friend of mine she is bi aswell but yea i was happy that i finally worked out that im bi i still like this girl. the sad news is she just got a boyfriend.... soo yea my life is kinda over now....

  • Jens reaction was superbπŸ’–

  • Is she lesbian?? I am very confused!

  • Given that she is unattractive, I imagine she felt pushed to find validation elsewhere.

  • Ok I need help is it normal to look at a nother girls thighs? I need help lol plz come quick

  • You walked down the fishmarket with your eyes closed and got all giddy?

  • Cantel should have her own channel (are you allowed to have ur own channel if you work at buzzfeed and are in videos idk someone tell me)

  • My family went on a trip for my sisters wedding and my dad freaked me out by making gay jokes and it freaked me out a bit, i asked my sister why our dad was acting weird and she grinned, telling me that our dad knew since the day I started picking my own outfits because they were more boyish and that I would steal my brothers shirts. I'm just glad to have a supporting dad who I can joke with about my sexuality, I always tell him "it's okay to be a lil gay" and that's how my dad's youngest daughter aka me came out to him..well he came out telling me he knew

  • So I'm kinda slow, so to recap- Chantel is a demisexual and is attracted to men and women. Did I get it?

  • Hi! This video made me feel so good hearing you with a similar story to mine!! I recently discovered I was bi but felt like it was too late in life to figure that out because I’m 19. I have a lot of lgbt+ friends who figured it out when they were 12. But, hearing that you had the same thought process of β€œI like boys so I must be straight!” has made me feel so much better & so much more valid. Thank you!!

  • I was told sexuality labels are sticky notes. So, don't worry if you change as you have more experiences and stuff. Just swap them out.

  • What does queer mean ????

  • im so happy to hear someone talking about being demi i never see anyone like me in the mainstream !!

  • All the queers knew, love it

  • Hu gayyyy #community lol

  • see that’s why i am not religious, i have grown up with my uncle being gay and he helped me get through being bisexual. i just loooooove πŸ’– when people are confident about it

  • I'm demisexual and no one ever talks about demisexuals!! I'm so excited someone else has similar experience!

  • Thank you so much for posting this video! It feels like I just got a fresh breath of air

  • I am straight but i don't feel comfy around my society because i am ok with lgbtqa comunity but my society kinda make fun of them and very conservative. I feel like I want to stop those who made fun of others sexuality / genders, but i am too timid...

  • β€œI’m gay a little”

  • This is truly amazing and inspiring! Thank you Chantel for sharing your story!

  • i assumed that all girls fantasize about kissing other girls and thinking about how nice it would be but haha i was wrong

  • Jen + Chantel plz Chenbor Jentel

  • How i found out i was bi simple i fell in love with Jen and Chantel

  • So wait just to make things clear , can u guys tell me if she is bi or gay ? By the way we all love u chantel no matter what!!

  • Lol, this was good. You are lucky that it was safe for you to come out. You should watch my song β€œI wish you were mine”/ The day of the colour run. You are brunette and brown eyes. Very cute.

  • when she said im gay a little i was like me hahah

  • 4:49.....lmao

  • Dude tho. Like. For real. I had a similar experience.

  • Who was the girl you liked???? Is she apart of lady like??????

  • Same

  • Honestly in my first relationship I found my female friends more visibly attractive than my boyfriend at the time I've developed feelings for many girls Even though I'm currently with a guy in still Bisexual and in the process of coming out.. I just need to tell my parents but in terrified

  • Chantel is fine. All I gotta say.

  • Wow, thank you for this because I almost completely identify with your experience and kind of wondered (as most of us do) if I was the only one. ❀️

  • My experience when I first told people I was QUESTIONING my sexuality: Family and lifelong close friends: "Huh, I don't really see it. I've never seen you check out a girl." People I had recently become friends with: "OMG YOU ARE SO GAY, I **KNOW** IT!!! SERIOUSLY YOU'RE GAY, DON'T EVEN QUESTION IT, IT'S SO OBVIOUS!!!" Years later, today is the first time I've really felt like I can say with any certainty that I'm at least a little gay... I don't know what that means specifically, as I think my sexuality is fluid and I'm probably somewhere on the poly or pansexual spectrum. I don't like labels though, and every time I think about it and try to figure out what I am by referring to a label and it's meaning I feel wrong.

  • Explain all these sexualitys to me... im confused

  • jens laugh is so contagious lol also many many kudos chanti takes guts to be a strong woman like you

  • Im aromantic i realized this recently i dont know why it took so long to realize

  • Sorry i cant stop laughing at the line thank you for your service Lol

  • So even if you are a very religious person you can still be something other than straight? Thanks Chantel!

  • I love how in the title you said *how I new I wasn’t straight* instead of *how I knew I was gay* YASSSSS

  • Dammit... this is me to a T.

  • Im so in love with chantal

  • I actually feel very lucky to be just simply gay instead of demi, pan, bi , etc. cuz I feel like that’s a lot harder to explain

  • sha la la la my oh my, looks like the girl's too gay, she's gonna- kiss the girl

  • Has she kissed a girl

  • why is this actually me

  • I'm the same way. I am only attracted to people when they have that specific personality that turns me on. I don't get crushes hardly ever. When people say things like, "Come on. We're all initially attracted by looks". I don't get that. I don't have that thing at all. For me, I become attracted and have crushes once I get to know someone's personality.

  • Honestly at this point I’m like fuck it if I like someone I like someone regardless of gender I’ve never kissed anyone like literally anyone so I don’t really know what I am I’m not fully into relationships I don’t get attached to people easily in that way but not going to lie I’ve walked past a few girls and been like holy fuck your hot πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • I clocked you a few years ago. ;D

  • I don't care if you don't like Gay people, and they don't either, and as I always say, *No Matter What You Think You're Always Beautiful. ~Emakiri* and it's true! We all need to love ourselves in our own special ways. And we are the same to some other people, we just don't like the things they are interested in, I don't like racism, because you're basically blocking out other people that are the same as you, we are all unique, I understand that but *we are all humans,* and we don't always think about that and *if we're tired we start getting angry easier,* or is it just me? and when we get angrier easier, *we don't think properly.* All I want to say is if you see somebody, *don't* think about how they look and *treat them poorly,* give them what they deserve, give them *hope and luck!* No matter *wobbly, nor straight,* we are *all humans.*

  • Oh Jens reaction is amazing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • This video made me question my sexuality

  • Oh my God! Suddenly I don't feel so awful. I have been going through the whole wave like you did. Oh God. Such a relief. I am freaking out too much. I am in the middle of this confusion to whether I am bi or gay and I also feel myself in the spectrum asexual. This video is really helpful for me ❀️

  • One like = one more person being accepted ❀️😩

  • πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

  • *reads tittle* : me when Im so done watching badly written white teen dramas

  • "bi,,gay,,queer,,,asexual" OH MOOD

  • dude. this is insane because meeee.