How I Discovered I Wasn't Straight

Published on May 6, 2018
I'd have hypothetical crushes on girls whenever my church would tell me I shouldn't.
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  • I'm 17 right now and chantel's experience growing up and in high school sounds so different to mine and her sexuality is different but still watching this made me feel soo... validated?? Like... My sexuality is hella confusing and I don't understand it at all but this video even though it's like.... not me... at the same time felt so relatable and comforting. So thank you!!

  • Not gay. Lesbian. Im not judging!

  • I thought this was a vid about her spine. Never mind

  • I am 10 to 12 and I found out I am bi just thought I let people know

  • Gay and PROUD

  • Well that's cool that her journey worked out for her. I guess I've never really understood it taking a journey. you just be yourself and that's it. I have to admit I've had a lot of people ask me questions over the years, they get veiled eyes and the answer they deserve: silence. My life outside of that moment with them is not their business... let me say the most these people were coworkers and I could have probably got them in trouble for asking non work-related questions. I've also had my mother indirectly ask me and again, why does it matter I'm not going to talk, so it does not matter. I did kind of find a label that describes me and I went with it but then I realized why am I labeling myself. I do get that it's important for others to have a label for themselves cuz it's good for their life, but for me, I am so apathetic that it is just not important to me.

  • When I came out literally like no one knew or suspected anything because honestly being gay or part of the lgbt wasn't really something I and most of the people around were exposed too. And then I was actually shocked cause I thought I seemed really gay and apparently not.

  • When I meet someone, the first thing that comes to mind is not sexuality. I try to be accepting to all sexualitiea. As far as I know I am straight, but I am non-judgemental. I grew up in a non judgemental household, my mom is bi (she did end up marrying a guy, tho), I have a friend who is bi, I have a cousin who is gay, I have a friend who is lesbian, and I have other straight friends. To me, sexuality isn't a thing to judge or be judged on. To be honest, I probably hold a persons hair color above their sexuality.

  • Omg I can relate to you soooooooooo much. Like every single thing. this helps me a lot thanks.

  • My friends mom dose not like that she is not strait and I do not think that's fair to my freind

  • I never knew you were a little non-straight that is super cool, embrace your non straightness

  • what a homo...

  • Except for identifying as demisexual, Chantel, you and I have the SAME STORY. Down to playing keys in church!! That鈥檚 crazy

  • I can relate, because I like boys but ended up dating a girl somehow... then I realized that's not very straight of me..

  • I didn't know you were on the ace spectrum and man that makes me happy I don't see too many people who are!

  • Jens gaydar馃槀馃槀馃槀

  • I literally am so confused because I鈥檝e identified as bisexual for 3 years now and I recently came out to my parents, but lately I鈥檝e been second guessing myself and I think I actually might be lesbian? I鈥檓 so confused...LIKE HELP馃檭 Also congrats for you Chantel鉂わ笍

  • I have always know i wasn't quite straight but this video makes things so much better. I'm 36 now and in a long term straight relationship but my eyes and head do wander to girls from time to time. In my 20s i very much dated both sexes. My mum always felt it was a phase. It wasn't.

  • Why is this my life

  • Any other asexuals here?

  • Until I met my partner last year I was super anxiety ridden whenever in any form of romantic situation. I have only ever met one other person who felt the same until meeting the 'right' person. The amount of times I googled if something was wrong with me as a teenager, I never found anything. As an adult, I simply put it down to an uncommon form of social anxiety. Now I wonder if I was/am simply somewhere on the asexual spectrum??? Who knows.

  • dudeee i went through the same thing last year!! oh wow ok... im still kinda conflicted on the church thing, I still like my lightbulb girl (and she knows n feels the same way), BUT I cant act on it even though i still feel the same?? so im confused bc if a man lusts in his heart he has committed a sin then would i be in trouble if i even thought about being with a girl (emotionally bc ace) bc *technically* im still acting on it???? i confuse help

  • This video literally helped me to figure out what I am. Thank you so much!!!

  • If you like girls and guys it's called being BISEXUAL it's not called not being straight or being gay it's being BISEXUAL. In lgbtq+ people don't recognize the B and automatically think it's gay. No. That's why people who likes girls and guys are so confused because people don't recognize and are respectful to bisexual people.

  • my brain hurts


  • WOW!!! *NICE ROOM!!!* lol

  • Everything is not a spectrum.

  • Why is everyone on Ladylike so pretty

  • 馃挅馃挅馃挅

  • Thank you so much for this video. You helped me so much to figure out things for me.

  • this video really gave me a lot of information on my sexuality and i really appreciate it and all the things you guys do to make all your viewers happy! thank you, and thank you chantel and jen for helping me find my sexuality.

  • This is definitely making me reevaluate my sexuality, I relate very strongly...

  • Does she only have eyeliner on one eye?

  • yusss queen, im trans*, queer and ace!!! thx for the mutual rep

  • I鈥檓 strait but respect to you chantel.

  • I relate to this so much.

  • Omg honestly about feeling something towards a girl when the pastor preaches against it is so relatable I can't but help think about this girl that means the world to me!馃お But my parents would hate me if I ever had feelings towards a girl馃樁馃槬馃槚

  • Why would you think or accept that other people knew before you even had a relationship or a crush on a girl? Are you saying it's a look? Stereotyping ?

  • Chantel: I'm gay a little Me: I'm gay *alot* -- well, lesbian.

  • Wahhhhhh


  • Being raised as a christian I relate to this so much

  • What does the Q on the end of LGBTQ stand for.

  • Thank you! This video really helped me. I go back and forth between girls and guys and I鈥檓 still trying to figure out if I鈥檓 demisexual or not. I feel like I鈥檓 not always connected to my sexual side and am working on figuring it out.

  • Omg i love Jens response馃槀


  • I鈥檓 scared to come out to my friends and family, I鈥檓 not sure that to do. I am a Pansexual girl and I have a girlfriend so I might have to come out..... help and/or advice

  • You sound like you are pan

  • I found out I was Bi threw my friend who taught me about it and I noticed that I sorta had a crush on my bff, I'm now a lot happier :3

  • *frantically thinking of any of ladylike that could be lightbulb*

  • i think you have to go to doctor .

  • At camp i made multiple friends, well alot, and it was my first year going there. My friend Joe (thats not his actual name im making one up) was gay. On the second to last day at camp there was a dance.. thing. it wasnt like slow dance music, it was like pop. There was a disco ball, fog machines, black lights, lazer shows. Just all kinds of cool crap. So this older person at camp, he was a camper and was in his teens, saw me and Joe dancing together, and he came up to Joe while i was dancing with another friend and said, "Is that your dait?" (alot of other kids, well 9 and 10 yr olds were worried about getting a dait to this thing) and then Joe just responded in the utmost seriousness, "Im gay. Im homosexual." Then the older person just said, "Oh.. ohhh," as if saying in his head like "Oh yeh that make sence." It was funny, and we just continued dancing. Also i cant spell dont judge me.

  • jen im in love

  • I identify as bi, and because I鈥檓 in a long term relationship don鈥檛 generally feel the need to identify much further, but I鈥檓 also very demisexual. I remember people talking about having sexual feelings for crushes and wanting to sleep with them, and I always found that extremely uncomfortable. I never fully understood why until I heard about demisexuality. For a while I also thought it was just a made up word for the way all people feel, but after finding out that most people don鈥檛 feel the same way I felt I started believing it was real. I struggled with whether I was bisexual or a lesbian for a long time. Mainly because I came out at school when I was around 14, and I was also an obvious case of not straight, so everyone called me a lesbian and said I was faking bisexuality for attention. Alas, I fiddled around with some labels for a while, I guess I鈥檓 probably a demisexual biromantic or whatever it鈥檚 called but... yeah. A similar experience.

  • I am questioning if I am bisexual but I'm thinking I am straight

  • Thanks for putting into words what I feel! Growing up, I never even knew being gay was an option, so whenever I met a boy I got along with, I assumed I liked him, and if I got along with a girl then that meant she was my friend. It wasn't until years later, with more representation of the LGBTQ+ community in the media, that I realized my sexuality wasn't as simple as that. I'm still not sure what I identify as, but at the end of the day, I'M the one that falls in love and enters relationships of MY choosing, why should I have to label myself to make others more comfortable?

  • I think you just helped me realize something about my sexuality. After hearing you say you were Demi and bisexual I realized I was both. I鈥檝e been thinking about whether or not I was bi for a couple years. But I never thought I was demisexusl despite the fact that Ive only had crushes on friends. My female friends like cute guys that don鈥檛 know, but I never did. I always thought if it as a preference, not a sexuality. Now I know it may be one and the same. That鈥檚 why it makes sense I might be bi. I used to have tiny crushes in female friends, never random girls though. I brushed it aside as friendly feelings, not romantic. I don鈥檛 really know now. I don鈥檛 know how or whether or not I come out. I鈥檓 lucky enough to know my close family will accept me, at least to my face. Some of them have made a few remarks about bi girls that make me a little scared to tell them. I鈥檓 not sure whether or not I went them to see me in a totally different way yet. And I鈥檓 still young, so maybe I should wait until I鈥檓 in a calmer mental state to think. But thank you so much either way, I think you just changed my life.

  • Anyone else have a low key crush on Chantel?

  • I came here cause of that coming out video on buzzfeedvdeo

  • title should i discovered i wasnt normal

  • This is really awesome, because I feel as though this is me... help me...

  • Omo, I'm demi too!! and I have a girlfriend~ P.s! I'm a girl

  • Watching this really makes me want Chantal to have her on US-tv channel, I mean she is truly amazing at editing and has an overwhelmingly comforting personality

    • I don鈥檛 know is that was the correct wording

  • Jen馃槀馃槀馃槀

  • Waaoooww you are meee

  • Wait, so it's not normal to wonder how it would be to be with someone of the same gender? I've been wondering about my sexuality for a while (I don't exactly have any experience to go from), but I guess that settles it. I'm bisexual, possibly asexual. Thanks.

  • Bisexual

  • Mine is kind of the opposite. I know I鈥檓 bisexual but choose not to act on it because I believe in God. I think saying 鈥減ray it away鈥 is really ignorant because obviously you can鈥檛. But you can chose how to react to how you feel. So I鈥檝e been 鈥渟traight鈥 for a few years now. I doubt anyone can relate bc everyone is on the 鈥渉ate God train鈥 these days. I guess my religion shines through my selfishness.

  • I'm Bi



  • I could have done this video in five seconds and two words: cate blanchett

  • im gay a LIL

  • Omggg i died when i heard jen her answer "not supriseeed. hah, i saw that one coming" she is so cute i can't

  • It's sad she believes she has to give up christianity in order to live with her sexuality. I'm christian but I'm also bisexual and I'm never giving up on religion

  • I feel the exact same way!

  • I wish my coming out was more like hers. My friend (?) kinda forced me out in 7th grade to my mom who didn鈥檛 take it well then and still doesn鈥檛 now so for me it鈥檚 good to see that okay I might be hiding and still questioning right now, but it gets better and it gets clearer eventually.

  • is light bulb Jen?

  • I noticed that people that almost everyone that were surprised were "straight" and the people that knew wasnt "straight".

  • YESS

  • I love how other gay people can tell you're gay before you even know

  • If she isn't staright. Then she isn't bi. Wait nvm.

  • you and jen were my gay awakening like 4 years ago

    • i knew all my life though, y鈥檃ll just helped

  • go find a nice clansman and start poping out babys for the white race you damm degenerate gay is not ok

  • OMG I thought u where straight

  • This made zero sense.

  • It annoys me SO much when women say that they are gay. The proper term is lesbian.

  • Thank you Chantel I didn鈥檛 know demisexual was a thing but after looking it up I realized that this explains why I am the way I am also I am already pansexual/bi

  • I'm 16 and I came out to my "best friends" as gay and now they hate me but who needs them when you part of the LGBTQ+ community.馃彸锔忊嶐煂

  • I saw a girl in my school and I was like "...oh no" came out to my family today hiding in the bathroom right now

  • Sweetie u r not gay u r bissexual

  • Anyone else really want Lightbulb to be Devin

  • I'm actually bisexual. I also had my first kiss with a girl. I'm also going on a date this friday with my brothers friend that's a girl. I'm really nervous that people will judge or I'll mess up. Now I know i shouldnt be upset with my sexuality thx!!

  • I didn't know this about chantel

  • please tell me jen was your lightbulb friend lmao

  • Why does anyone care let you be you .

  • wow I don't think I've related to a video more o.O why is my story the same! So straight girls don't have gay fantasies??

  • I want gummi bears

  • Heppy berday chantel is my berday too 鉂わ笍馃巶 turning 15